Some conversations

Sometimes,you have the most random conversation with the most random person..and that conversation makes an impression..and leaves you with a lifetime lesson...


Sometimes,you have some conversations you never wanted to but at the end of it,you feel glad it happend...


Sometimes,you have that much needed conversation,that was to happen a while back,but you kept pushing it off your "to do" list because you wish it were to never happen...


Sometimes, you just have that perfect conversation,which was random,never wanted but much needed at the same time...And,that my friend,is the best conversation ever...Because it leaves you with something new about yourself....

Favorite Time Of The Year

D.E.C.E.M.B.E.R

This is most definitely my favorite time of the year. No,its not because of Christmas or New Year... December is THESPO TIME!!!


So basically Thespo is a youth theatre festival that has been happening for the last 13 years. This year, Thespo has turned into a teenager and a "dramatic" one at that... I got introduced to Thespo last year through a friend who urged me to attend the volunteer meeting and then com for the other meetings and be a part of Team Thespo...Boy, am I glad I joined in... I can confidently say that Thespo is by far the best thing that has happend to me in a very long time... There is so much life and fun to this festival  that if you take part in it once, you crave for a another chance. 


Thespo 12 is very close to my heart as it was my very first Thespo...That was last year and now as we count days to Thespo 13 (11 days), I look back and realize that I have learned so much...Not just about theatre but about team work, about running a festival, about goofing up about a million times but still not giving up, about loving every moment of those stressful sleepless nights...


Thespo 13 gave me the tag of SYTT(Second Year At Thespo)... The stress has just begun.. With 11 days in hand, decor to be done,designs to be made,articles to be written,one would think we will never make it...


But the spirit of theatre never dies among us "thespo-ites"...


I urge one and all to come and attend the festival.. You don't have to watch the outstanding plays or participate in the phenomenal workshops.. Just come and watch the spirit of youth unfold..


Thespo 13- Theatre Tera Mera


http://thespo13.blogspot.com/

Letter to Life

Dear Life,


I want you to slow down. I don't want you to rush the way you are right now. I don't want you to remind me about long gone days and forgotten times. I want you to help me enjoy each passing moment,live each day.
I want you to help me live through those "oh I want to kill someone" days. I want you to introduce me to inspiring and interesting people each day. At the same,lets remember that not all people are inspiring ,some can be normal like me.....


I hope you understand.


Thanks


Yours lovingly
Loosing Track

White Horse

The difference between reality and dreams..a very big one..Very rarely will you find both together or rather both are usually starkly different...but somehow they seem to be merging together for me..My reality is actually very close to that dream...Its so difficult to live in your dream because you are always afraid of waking up into reality.. The not so nice world where you are constantly reminded about your do's and don'ts...where it is absoluetly essential to behave in a certain way..
And then there are dreams..Where everything is happy and beautiful...I have been living in my dreams even though they are a relaity...but short lived...so the moral is to make the most of it..


Why is this post called White Horse?
Heard of that song by Taylor Swift...White Horse... some bits kind of merge every girl's dream and reality...


I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale,
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down,
Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around


And here we have a dream and a reality..To be a princess,find true love..and then bang comes reality...thats what happens in Hollywood,in the movies,in dreams....

That Girl In Yellow Boots

So yes, I did spend a good 300 bucks on the movie. After much thought, I came to the conclusion that it ain't that bad a movie. Actually,its definitely worth a one time watch, maybe even more. A lot of people may not agree with me on this but nevertheless, I would want people to watch this movie. Its dealing with a very sensitive issue of child molestation but in a different way(sorry,kind of gave it away). Its an unconventional movie and has very close links with theatre(giving me a good enough reason to watch the film!) Kalki,Naseeruddin Shah,Kumud Mishra,Gulshan)  are actually artists from the theatre industry.Theatrewallas ,all of them who have done a magnificent job. Besides that,there are other reasons as mentioned below


1. The Cinematography
Once again, Anurag Kashyap manages to deliver a film which is brilliant when it comes to its cinematography.The usage of light to depict the darkness in the mood and the shaky camera movements certainly added to the film's overall appeal. The use of space was also great. Though the film can make one feel claustrophobic due to the usage of small spaces like rooms,trains,rickshaws,it most certainly has given the film a flavour of its own.


2. Kalki
A new discovery to the Hindi Film Industry. Kalki originally did plays before she plunged into Bollywood with her much acclaimed role of Chandramukhi in Dev D. In That Girl In Yellow Boots, Kalki managed to give Ruth the much deserved set of emotions  along with a subtle hint of drama.


3.Background Music
Not too many songs as such but the background music served its purpose well.


4. Style and Costume
Overall, I loved Kalki's look in the film. The sling bag, skirts and razor back tops gave her a very casual look. The make up was also subtle( except when maybe she turned to the red lipstick). But her outfits were simple yet they had that hippie feel to them.


5. Yellow Boots
Of course, the yellow boots fall into a separate category of their own. Though one may barely get a glimpse of them in the film. very interesting concept in terms of title!I love the idea of relating boots to struggle.


6. Dialogues
The dialogues have been written with finesse . There is no vulgarity as such( again except when they fire abuses at each other). But again,Kalki managed to deliver the lines as required.


7. Mumbai
The film is not essentially about Mumbai but it captures some of those locations that make up to be the essence of Mumbai. For instance Crawford Market, local trains. Somehow, I loved the way the local trains were shot. The hair flying,sleeping in the corner,next to the window..Something one can relate to if you are a Mumbaikar. Also the forever crowded streets of Mumbai just somehow added to the psychological aspect of the film i.e. Ruth's struggle to find her father and the million obstacles she had to face.


8. Kumud Mishra
Honestly, I have loved him since I saw him acting as the cutest Captain Hook in Peter Pan (an Akavarious Production) this Summertime at Prithvi. His role in this movie was very different from the adorable Captain Hook. In fact, the audience may not accept his role that easy. But Kumud Mishra has done a brilliant job. A not so big role but big enough to hit the climax of the movie.

Lost & Found

And all this while I wanted someone who was just like me, someone who did not believe in love. Someone who wanted to be on my side at all times but no “love”. I was being so silly and stupid then. Did not realize that I was in search of love myself. Love without any boundaries and with no expectations. Love that simply meant that we would be there for each other but at the same time, give each other space.  But I did not want love.

So then I found you. You somehow fit the bill. You gave me my space but at the same time showered me with all the attention. The promise of being around. The affection. The love.

But I was not searching for love, right? I did not want it... I did not want that feeling of being “alone” when you left me...But promised to stay forever...

So I figured maybe this is love...The actual thing...Though I was kind of missing the butterflies in the stomach part. But I convinced myself that this was it... And that was when you turned out to be just like me, you did not want this...You wanted to keep what we had...You found this love unpleasant, antagonistic... Just when I had begun to love the feeling, you kind of said you don’t believe in it...

Such is the way of life...So I hope I get over you or you fall for me...

Castles in the Air

I build this...I invested in this for over 2 years... I laid the foundation, I build the structure...and suddenly you tell me that it doesn't exist!

Suddenly you say it was just a dream, it was a castle in the air..!

You say that it’s made of sand, it will break down

You say it constitutes of wind, it is invisible

You are wrong...I build it; I made it...Its mine

And I know it exists...because it is mine... Even if the world will deny its appearance, I know it’s there...

Square One

So I am back to this random place. After months of being on the "right" track, I am back to "square one". This place can be an awful one,this "square one". It makes you feel like all this time, when you felt you had finally found a destination, after all that walking around, you land up right there where you started!
An awful feeling...


But this random place, which should be familiar, is not so familiar! Boy, I am in a fix! I am being unable to distinguish between the Right and the Wrong...Its all mixed up...The only thing that seems familiar is the feeling. The Feeling of being lost with no direction,no hope..NOTHING!


Then again,the feeling seems to say something to this completely random person who has nothing to do with this whole "destination" "square one" business...The feeling says that you mean something to me...the feeling that when you are around,I want to be only myself and nobody else.. That lost and confused me seems to please you.. How bizarre is that?


So yes,here I am again...The place is called Crossroads...Right in the middle, a couple of options but absolutely no judgement power to pick one...I wonder...I wonder very often in fact that no matter how often I get here, I never seem to learn.I don't always land up in the same place but ,as always, I pick a road, I follow it for a while,but in the end, the destination is "square one". Must say, this thing called life is just one round trip..! 
There is no yellow brick road to the Emerald City of Oz...

Untitled

Yes, I have been an awful blogger with no posts and no pictures uploaded for a while...But then again,how many people actually read what I what I write...except maybe those best friends who will read this just to make me happy...But then again,who said I am writing for the world, I write for myself.
I write because it makes me happy
I write because that is the best way to express
I write because that is what I can do best


There are times when I feel I am loosing touch with myself,something seems to be wrong...And that is when the pen (or in this case the key board) becomes my best friend...!

Kaleidoscope 2011- Its getting closer

Temperatures are going up..and when I say that, I don't just mean in the city because of the lack of rains but in the Sophia College Den. The Den is by far the coolest place on campus(besides the awesome Central Lawn).The Den is the birthplace of the best college centric youth festival in Mumbai. The Den is where the Workforce comes together and produce some of the most crazy events,brilliant designs, get some hot sponsors but above all bond and make this festival what it is...The Most Awaited Festival In The City...


The theme this year is bigger and better than last years...An Oriental Hue... So come an experience the Orient in your very own city of Mumbai...

Kaleidoscope....

47 DAYS TO GO

Smiling through the night, following till eternity

The moon was shining in the sky,like never before..Her light fell onto that girl's face who was walking on that lonely path. Suddenly,she looked beautiful,almost divine. She looked up at the moon with a twinkle in her eye and said," Why are you following me today? I want to be left alone. I want to spend some quality time with myself...Go away!". But our moon was more stubborn than a mule. She was not going to leave the girl alone. Not tonight. The moon continued to follow her...

She followed

and followed

and followed

and followed

her into day...

6 months....

This is a random post,very insignificant, nothing super duper important as such...Just  wanted to post something..:P


This is just a reminder to self that 6 months have passed and 6 months to go... Time is running, faster than ever...If time were a person,it would set new records everyday... Time is running out, passing by...I can't believe 6 months are over..Where did these 6 months go to..With exams,my birthday,summer vacations,plays,internship,books,shopping,some other birthdays, articles,theatre,literature etc etc, 6 months have passed in a jiffy...


Lets see what the next 6 months have in store for me!


CANNOT BELIEVE 6 MONTHS HAVE PASSED!

A Chapter From The Diary Of A Broken Heart

This post is an attempt to not mend the heart, but to make the heart breaker realize what he/she does to that one person who may care the world for them....

They say love is painful. Even if they don't, I say it is! She is not in physical pain. Though the rate at which she is starving herself, she is the same neighbourhood as pain.That's not all! She is suffering from emotional pain, a terrible terrible heart ache.

The sinking feeling,the loneliness...

That's pretty much how she feels,all the time...

Except ,maybe when she is with people around her..Her friends,her classmates, she seems fine in class,during lectures but the minute she is out of class,alone and by herself,it seems like her soul has been sucked out of her! She goes into this phase of absolute blankness! She is sinking,going down and down and loosing view of the surface. Tears have taken refuge in her eyes but they refuse to come out..They are stuck,she is stuck..She knows this is a phase(at least she hopes),she knows that eventually she will get over it but how long is she going to be like this..she doesn't know what to do..I don't know what to tell her..         

                                                                                                          “ I am not sure if I did the right thing by confessing..But I don't feel like a girl with her crushes, I feel a little grown up..My emotions seem to be running deep within me..My brain and heart seem to be on a synchronized mode and thus no hunger and no sleep is within me anymore. I don't eat, I don't sleep. I am not hungry and never sleepy!And some questions seem to haunt me..

Why..

Why is it that if you love someone,that someone doesn't love you back??

Why is it that people disregard your feelings?

Why don't people believe in giving it a chance...give it a chance,you may fall in love! You never know what life has in store for you! And yes,many will say, wait for the "right" person to come along...But the only way to figure out the "right" person  is to experience the "wrong" ones! Ever considered "she may be worth the risk" or "he may be a nice guy"! Ever thought that by not being the "right " person for him/her,you may just help him/her break their illusion about "right" and "wrong"..even for that,you need to give it a thought, a shot..!Give it a chance now so that you don't say a "what if" later...

Don't ever catch yourself saying or even thinking "she loved me,and I told her I don't feel the same but I never even considered the possibility that I may feel the same..I never said “lets give it a chance” 

This is what she said........................
And what do I have to say.....

I don't think we are born with this instinct called love..are we? It develops through the years of our relationships with those around us. Therefore, how can one decide that they don't love the other without giving it a chance...that's all,a chance....its obvious that if I love you,I gave that feeling time to grow in me,you didn't even try!

Some times, its not about that heart break or the depression that follows.Consider the bigger picture....

Love is not instinctual,it takes time to grow,so let it grow...if he loves you,you may not love him back but at least give yourself a chance to love him..if she is in love with you,don't ask her to forget you and find the right person and move on,at least see if their was a possibility for the love to grow..Because,dear friends,life is short and hence one should consider themselves lucky if someone says ..'I love you' or even something as small as 'I have a crush on you' ..because this means that that someone gave it a chance...and you may go your whole life and not even give it a thought,let alone a chance..

Learn to love,and let that love grow..don't nip the bud before the flower blooms....You may kill that feeling for life..not within yourself,in someone else....

A note to say Thank You

Here is a note to say Thank You.

To all that that mattered and to all that that didn’t.

To all those experiences and to those that are to come..

To those sleepless nights of introspection…

To those sunny days of smiles….

To the birds that wake me up in the morning…..

To the ocean that spreads calmness throughout my body…….

To the colours of the Rainbow…….

To the breeze blowing during monsoons……..

To those Friends who flatter me always

To those Flatterers who pretend to be friends

To those people who are Family

To that family who are People

To the world for being the way it is

Here is a note to say Thank You…

To life, people, surroundings, nature, everything

Thank You for making me “Me”

Mindless Nomadic Wanderings of the Mind

Sleep seems to be a little distant now… Actually very far away. The funny thing is that my eyes feel heavy, I look sleepy but somehow my mind refuses to register that. I am awake, wide awake…Staring out into the starless night, looking at the cloudy skies…And my mind is ticking, like a clock like a bomb. It’s going to blow up very soon. If it doesn’t find answers. But answers to what???? I don’t know...
Another sleepless night. Or maybe it’s going to be a while before I break into this half hearted sleep. Where I stir, lie half awake but still rather sleepy...
Is that my phone ringing? No, it is not! only wish it were...


Number of people online on gtalk and Facebook = 0...


Damn this luck. When you need someone to talk to, nobody is around. When you need time alone, the world pounces on you like it’s the end of the world and you have the secret to live on into immortality!
It’s a ruthless world we live in...
But the point is, I am still unable to sleep...those questions seem to have taken refuge in my mind. And refuse to leave till they find some answers...
I guess they will have to wait and so will I...  And the mind continues to wander around, looking for answers, asking more questions and I fall into this deep Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I have walked out in rain - and back in rain

And there was some thunder and lightning and before you knew it, the streets of Mumbai were lashed with the pre-monsoon showers! It was such a beautiful sight...like love at first sight..
Mumbai is known for her monsoons.. The floods, the colourful umbrellas, the bight windcheaters, the cutting chai and jalebis at the road side stalls..wow! 3 months of that..The best 3 months ever.. People in Mumbai complain a lot about the rains but eventually, they all love it.. Its a great change from the sweltering heat in the months of April and May..Its a change, a beautiful refreshing change...!


The Rains remind me of so many things.. Robert Frost's Poetry, A Hot Cup Of Coco, My Favorite Book, Bollywood Movies..And waking up,all snuggled into your warm blankets to a rainy morning...
 I love that feeling...!!

I think Bollywood movies make Monsoons the month of soul mate searching.. Those romantic songs make my heart tinkle with joy..The black umbrella and the lovers standing under it,shy and quiet.. The girl dancing, asking for her loved one to come soon..The lover dancing with her beloved in the rain, doing a waltz on the streets...Its all so magical!

Some of my favorite lines and quotes about the rain are below...:)

• The roadside flowers, too wet for the bee,
  Expend their bloom in vain.
  Come over the hills and far with me,
  And be my love in the rain.
                              A Line- Storm Song By Robert Frost
• Oh, come forth into the storm and rout
  And be my love in the rain.
                             A Line- Storm Song By Robert Frost 

• A poet is someone who stands outside in the rain hoping to be struck by lightning.
• And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.
• Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby.
• A rainy day is the perfect time for a walk in the woods.

Kaleidoscope 2011

Kaleidoscope is a festival about excitement,magic,craziness..Its about music,dance,paint,color..Its about emotions and feelings.. But above all,Kaleidoscope is a festival that runs in the veins of the 500 girls who make it happen and the zillion other people who support them whilst they fight against all odds (including mumbai monsoons,rejections,budget cuts etc).....

26 years and still running strong, Kaleidoscope is not just any other festival, its like a religion..not only for the workforce but also for the participants who come back year after year( till they pass out that is but even that doesn't stop some of them who come back as "ex" students..)

So look into the Kaleidoscope, what do you see... 
From stalls selling yummy food to an array of absolutely crazy events all around our "oh so awesomely pretty" campus...from hunting around college for things as random as the bathtub in the botanical garden(Yes, we have a bath tub and a botanical garden) to dancing the basketball court..from water wars to karaoke singing..from music to drama.. The list is never ending...
So come and be a part of this crazy,magical, colourful world of Kaleidoscope..

Dates : 23rd to the 28th of August
Venue: Sophia College
The countdown begins to the most awaited festival of then year.....

P.S: wanna know more....read these..

http://lendmeyouryears.wordpress.com/2011/05/26/kaleidoscope-2011/

http://dancingthefoxtrot.blogspot.com/2011/05/kaleidoscope-2011.html

http://musicmaniac-diya.blogspot.com/2011/05/kaleidoscope-at-sophia-college-mumbai_6826.html

Drops of Nostalgia...

Look at life as a whole...Its like a big ocean...An ocean is made of drops of water...Life is made of drops of memories,of events,of people,of things..


 Events.Occasions.Moments. Incidents.Reasons


So many things happen in our lives, so many people walk in and pass by...
Each drop holds some sort of significance, each drop has a story  to tell...each drop makes me nostalgic,reminds me of a memory.


Certain events have a tendency to repeat themselves in our lives. Its like, sometimes, life has an "Action Replay" button...The same incident, the same moment,maybe the same people too.. But its a new You... But these events still remind you of the last time they took place.. And somehow you don't think its the new You..


Life has its ways of playing games.. Of repeating events that leave a mark in your life..And these events don't have to be nice all the time.. A fight, an argument..Same person,same words,same emotions but somehow its a new person from your end experiencing it.. I have had my set of "action replay" moments and it fascinated me..


It fascinated me because I could feel those same emotions all over again..Nostalgia hit me in the form of some emotions and feelings... For instance, the day my younger brother was expecting his board exam results, I could feel that excitement and nervousness like it were my results all over again... The tension, the nail-biting nervousness, the anticipation,all of it came back to me...


These emotions and feeling are a very important part of my life.. These are the drops in my ocean... Nostalgic drops...because these are a part of my yesteryear's and are the foundation to my today and tomorrow.... 

I am..

I am a dream. I am fire.I am color. I am light. I am water. I am breeze. I am a memory. I am faith. I can smile. I can cry. I can disappoint.I can laugh. 


I am a human being. I can experience a zillion emotions at one time. I may smile through those tears, I may not smile at all. I can be rational, I can be poignant. I can be mystical, I can be magical..




I am a human being. I may choose to love, I may choose to hate. I can choose to die. I can live. I can make choices.

I am a human being. I am a star gazer. I am a bird watcher. I am a lover. I am a friend
I am a human being. There is much more to be than that mentioned above. I am a mystery, a puzzle waiting to be solved, a secret dying to be heard.
I am..

Angels, Fairies and Tinkerbell........

I love Peter Pan. It use to be one of my all time favorite fairy tales as a kid. I think the reason why I loved this story was because of all the fantasy in it. The flying, the fairies, pixie dust, all of that. Yes, I believe in fairies. And I also believe that "every time a child says, 'I don't believe in fairies,' there is a fairy somewhere that falls down dead."( As said by Peter Pan himself).
A couple of days back, I was lucky enough to watch the play "Peter Pan" at Prithvi Theatre as a part of the children summer festival. It brought back some crazy memories of me as a child, pretending to wave the magic wand or telling my friends how "my very own fairy god mother" visited me last night! Yes, my imagination did have a tendency to run wild. It still does actually, I have a hard time catching up with it...;)

I still believe in fairies and angels. Only now, I don't think they fly around invisible like Tinkerbell or the Tooth fairy. I think they are pretty much a part of our daily lives. We all have a fairy or an angel looking upon us at all time. It can be anybody..your friend, your parents,sibling or maybe just a random acquaintance. But  we all definitely  have one....:)

And yes, these angels are not always nice,they can be rude and nasty to but that's just for your own good. Don't confuse your best friend to be your angel! Your best friends will support you no matter what..even if you are doing something that may eventually harm you! Hey, I am not anti- best friend(my best friend,if you are reading this, I love you..:P),just that sometimes in the pressure to be your "always forever types" support, they forget that sometimes its fine if they remind you that the dress makes you look ugly, the guy is a jerk,you are wrong..!Just sometimes...!

On the other hand, your angel will be there for you but at the same time,remind you that what your are doing may give you "temporary"happiness but in the long run, it ain't good for you!Your angel is kind of a mother,friend and philosopher, all in one! She will be strict if you are goofing up way to much.She will listen to you irrespective of the fact that it must be the 100th time you are telling her the same story about the same problem!She can also be a source of great inspiration..!And she will guide you, like a mentor. In fact, the modern definition for your very own angel/fairy/ Tinker Bell is a mentor.The fun , always be with you, crazy time mentor, not the boring one. And hey, you can have loads of mentors, but just one Angel..one Fairy..and one Tinker Bell...:D

Broken Hearted

Warning: Before you read this poem,let me make this very clear.
1)I am not depressed
2)This poem is not about me
3)It was written for a friend who had just broken up.(Don't need rocket science to guess that!)

An open door, a drop of tear
Thats all that you have left me with dear
A broken heart, a sad face
I still think the decesion was made in haste......

You looked down upon me with those eyes of blue
And honestly, I din't have a clue.
I had no idea why you had tears in your eyes
I had no idea that it was my turn to cry.

You said to me"Its all over"
I din't want to believe it was true
You told me"We are no more together"
I never thought the world could be so cruel..!

Now I stare at that open door
Hoping that you would walk by
Now I try and wipe my tears
Nobody is worth my cry.....

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

We all have them. We all need them. And we cannot do without them. That's the truth!

Friendship is a relationship we dwell into from the beginning of our childhood. I am pretty sure we all have a bunch of friends who we refer to as our "diaper buddies". They have been there forever and usually are the ones that stay with you till your kids make their "diaper buddies".  Besides them,there are your school friends. In my personal opinion, I think these are the guys who know you best. They have seen you through it all. Your first exam. Your first crush. Your first heartbreak.All of that


As we grow older and step into this big bad selfish world, friendship is replaced with selfish. People always have a hidden purpose to befriend you.Not all, don't get me wrong here but most of them you meet in college and at work have a hidden reason behind that brilliantly beautiful smile. Eventually,its all about convenience.



Friends may love you but can be the ones who hurt you most. Sometimes, they may do things that can scar your life forever. And when I say forever, I mean forever. A lost friend will be someone you will remember your whole life. But hey, that doesn't mean you don't venture into this beautiful world of like minded as well as absolutely opposite kind of people who suddenly seem to give your life more meaning..!(No Exaggeration)

 I think friendship is by far the most beautiful relationship ever if it is done with the right intention. Your friends are your chosen family who love you, who grow with you. They are the people who will always support you, be happy for you no matter what.  And friendship has nothing to do with age. My youngest friend right now would be around 5 -6 years younger than me whereas oldest friend would be around 12 years elder than me. Such is the magic of friendship...