Lost & Found

And all this while I wanted someone who was just like me, someone who did not believe in love. Someone who wanted to be on my side at all times but no “love”. I was being so silly and stupid then. Did not realize that I was in search of love myself. Love without any boundaries and with no expectations. Love that simply meant that we would be there for each other but at the same time, give each other space.  But I did not want love.

So then I found you. You somehow fit the bill. You gave me my space but at the same time showered me with all the attention. The promise of being around. The affection. The love.

But I was not searching for love, right? I did not want it... I did not want that feeling of being “alone” when you left me...But promised to stay forever...

So I figured maybe this is love...The actual thing...Though I was kind of missing the butterflies in the stomach part. But I convinced myself that this was it... And that was when you turned out to be just like me, you did not want this...You wanted to keep what we had...You found this love unpleasant, antagonistic... Just when I had begun to love the feeling, you kind of said you don’t believe in it...

Such is the way of life...So I hope I get over you or you fall for me...

Castles in the Air

I build this...I invested in this for over 2 years... I laid the foundation, I build the structure...and suddenly you tell me that it doesn't exist!

Suddenly you say it was just a dream, it was a castle in the air..!

You say that it’s made of sand, it will break down

You say it constitutes of wind, it is invisible

You are wrong...I build it; I made it...Its mine

And I know it exists...because it is mine... Even if the world will deny its appearance, I know it’s there...

Square One

So I am back to this random place. After months of being on the "right" track, I am back to "square one". This place can be an awful one,this "square one". It makes you feel like all this time, when you felt you had finally found a destination, after all that walking around, you land up right there where you started!
An awful feeling...


But this random place, which should be familiar, is not so familiar! Boy, I am in a fix! I am being unable to distinguish between the Right and the Wrong...Its all mixed up...The only thing that seems familiar is the feeling. The Feeling of being lost with no direction,no hope..NOTHING!


Then again,the feeling seems to say something to this completely random person who has nothing to do with this whole "destination" "square one" business...The feeling says that you mean something to me...the feeling that when you are around,I want to be only myself and nobody else.. That lost and confused me seems to please you.. How bizarre is that?


So yes,here I am again...The place is called Crossroads...Right in the middle, a couple of options but absolutely no judgement power to pick one...I wonder...I wonder very often in fact that no matter how often I get here, I never seem to learn.I don't always land up in the same place but ,as always, I pick a road, I follow it for a while,but in the end, the destination is "square one". Must say, this thing called life is just one round trip..! 
There is no yellow brick road to the Emerald City of Oz...