Friday, December 7, 2012

Of Love And Lies...

Wow. I am actually making an honest attempt to write again. If only I was so good with my college research...never mind that...lets pretend I never wrote that..

Today was one of those days that you remember forever. A day when I laughed so much that my stomach hurt and generally had a great time. Also a day where I learned the true meaning of "crossing the line". It started off with a brilliant theatre class. We were split into groups, picked a name for the group, a genre an then began to write a script. It was my first experience writing a script and I loved every minute of it. It was amazing how I could hear,feel and see each moment as we put it down on paper. I could hear the drop in her voice, feel the hurt in him when she decides to go away. I had a fellow classmate with me. She too loves theatre and it was lovely to watch our ideas resonate. We managed to bring together a rough script. In my head, I already had a lighting plan, the kind of costumes we could put together, the props. It was just so amazing. The emotion behind it all. I guess this is why I wish to do theatre, because it feels real. It perks me up, makes me come alive and I always want to give in my best... Our play has been called "Dear Diary"(haha). I will write more about the play once we have finalized more...I am just so excited about it...

Post college, I spend some time with a couple of friends. The 3 of us are actually an odd group. I know one of them for almost 14 years and the other one for just about 14 days or so. But we had a crazy time. We sat at a bar, sang some random songs, walked a great length for some cheesy nachos and eventually the 2 of us took the bus ride back home. It was during this bus ride that I discovered something about myself. I have a talent, a talent to piss people off. The bus ride lead to us calling a third friend, planning to meet for some ice cream and a promise to tell her some gossip. What started off as a narration eventually landed up in me putting my talent to full use.I decided to play a prank by saying that the boy(who was a jerk) she had been in love with for almost forever but who didn't give a damn about her existence is seeing someone else.My 14 year old friend accompanied me and soon the both of us were trying to keep a straight face as we fed her with random bits of information about this boy. We had no intention to hurt her, it was a practical joke gone too far. When we were out of ideas,we eventually said that it was a joke. Her reaction was not what we expected. She stormed out. We followed her, trying to explain that it was a joke,we knew nothing. She turned to me and said "You knew everything, you knew how I felt" and just went on walking. The both of us (that is the 2 jokers) decided its best we let her calm down and then we talk. But this got me to thinking about something someone else had told me a few months back about friends and practical jokes ; about how friends can kid around with each other. This incident reminded me of how angry I had got at someone when he played a random joke on me, ; i had got so angry that I almost broke off our friendship.
Moral of the story is that life runs like a cycle. It all comes back to someday, and that very day you need to face it. Needless to say, I had a great day but my own foolishness ruined the last bit. Though I will not let that spoil my mood, I am thinking About many things that I have said to someone in the last few months...

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Random Rambling Me...

Give me a second I
Need to get my story straight...

Yes I do. I haven't written in forever. And as I read through my old posts, I think to myself "I need therapy"... Majority of them were about loss and heartbreaks and other sad things... I am not sad. I am a happy go lucky person. At least I try to be...


A couple of weeks back, during a relationship management workshop in college, we had a session called Gift of Happiness. Each classmate was to write about the other on a piece of paper. The catch was that the comment would be anonymous. We had an option of skipping people we knew nothing about...After a long half hour of passing paper, random looks here and there,I got hold of my paper.

I really wanted to know what my classmates thought of me as and there it was, in front of me. " You are a very happy person.""love the way you laugh"."your laughter is contagious"...Wow!
A whole bunch of thoughts began to run in my head. I called my best friend later and laughed at the fact that everyone thought I was so happy when ,in reality, I am so so not...But then,I thought again why should I not be happy... Why should I not laugh...(I am most of time)

I realize that many a time, you spend you so much time with people who are unhappy, that you become unhappy. A friend of mine always told me that I cannot fix things for the world, I cannot solve everyone's problems..in short, I am not super girl. But hey, whats wrong in trying to be a super girl? Actually, a lot of things are..for one if you are like me, then their problems become your problems, take ample amount of space in your head and voila, you have the recipe to disaster...I no want disaster..


I once called a friend a cross between a touch me not and a venus fly trap plant. An awful allegory, I know, but makes so much sense...From far,yo seem like a touch me not but as people try to get closer and as they are at their closest best, you snap their head off like a venus fly trap does to its preys. Weird allegory...


So now I have decided that I will try and write more often. Makes me feel better..

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Something is lost...

I use to be a happy person. I was happy for the longest time. I was happy with my life, my course, my friends, everything. Then why this sudden feeling of emptiness...
Is it because suddenly the temperature in my city has dropped( they always say, with lower temperature comes gloominess..)
Is it because of the irony is my life...
What is it...I am not happy!

Friday, August 24, 2012

And I stopped believeing...

And they kept saying "this too shall pass" or  "this happens all the time"...
They kept saying these things, things kept happening
And one fine day, I stopped believing! I stopped believing in everything they had to say...I just believed that this is how it will be because this is how its been for almost forever... 
No I am not a depressed soul who has lost meaning in life... I have just stopped believing in those intrinsic happy wala feelings...They don't exist...Being happy is a privilege,being unhappy is a way of life...

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Piece of Mind

Its hard to imagine how quickly time seems to be passing. I miss so much of my old days. I miss the roadside shopping with my best friend, the crazy beach side walks with my childhood buddy... We seem to have no time for anything and its just scary!
I always seemed to be the sorts who would have time for everything,for all my friends, for life in general..
Now it seems like I have no time for myself... Things are just going so fast...And I am trying to hold onto it all...Not working...
I am in my imagined perfect place, this is where I always wanted to be but then again, what am I loosing out on... I guess you have a price to pay for getting what you want..and I am paying that price by loosing out on time... Time with friends and with myself... Yes it has been a while since I did something for myself, just for myself... and I am not talking about random retail therapy moments, something much more than that...
When was the last time I held that hand because I really wanted to not let go...?
When was the last time I walked that path because I wanted to and not because that was my only choice...?

Damn, this whole deal with future is pretty not happy...

Ah but I will survive... I hope!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Store it in a bottle!

There are certain moments in your life that you wish you could have held on to  forever...
There are some people who you wish had never left
There are some walks you wish had lasted forever
There are certain feelings you wish would experience over and over again


There are some smiles that are hard to miss
Laughter that is always heard
Signs of love and friendship
That make the dullest days bright....


So here is a wish..That may all these moments,experiences,feelings be stored in a tiny bottle of hope,faith and love...That they remain in my heart forever!


Friday, December 30, 2011

Some conversations

Sometimes,you have the most random conversation with the most random person..and that conversation makes an impression..and leaves you with a lifetime lesson...


Sometimes,you have some conversations you never wanted to but at the end of it,you feel glad it happend...


Sometimes,you have that much needed conversation,that was to happen a while back,but you kept pushing it off your "to do" list because you wish it were to never happen...


Sometimes, you just have that perfect conversation,which was random,never wanted but much needed at the same time...And,that my friend,is the best conversation ever...Because it leaves you with something new about yourself....